There are tymez that plague even the most biblical and self controlled individual, like pulling into a lonely truck stop, from an even lonlier highway.
You enter in thereof, and even the faintest whiff of any perfume will send your organs into ready to launch mode.
I try to maintain my composure on such occasions, but even this big bad Kaynyne of the interstate can’t help but get aroused by even the simplest scents. Anything that is of a feminine nature gets you.
The truth is truckers usually are more sexually excitable or at least sexually aware is an understatement. But then too, look at what we do.
Rolling along , on an endless black ribbon of asphalt from coast to coast or for many miles, some very remote that when you finally do re-enter the population, you have just some very basic needs, shower,food, sex and sleep.
I bring this up as I have recently been made aware of this condition in chatting to so many auditioning for our Dixie Diesel-Diesel Dazzlers, SheWolvez and so on.
That I must have a sign on my forehead that says predator, or at least in serious of serious sex. Heck it has been , what now 20 years? Be that as it is. While no gal auditioning for our female model projects are ever in danger, heck my lady Helen, makes sure of that, but dig this, no matter how much I try, I cain’t help becoming very interested in our applicants. After all, the idea of having them on TV and in print while not on our radio waves, is to tease to please at least on that TV and magazine ad, to make those not in the know of this radio show and network for those who truck and yes toew.
On the toew thing. This is both a test and a curse, but as innocent as it is, it does have a history.
The beginnings are very sketchy to me and it is me after all, but from both our sexual therapists both Sue Rogers and Emmie Lee, that it has to do with the first time a young guy gets really aroused. What scents or textures or such were present. What the circumstances were at the time. For me it was a then 18 year old hottie that lived across the street in Layton Utah that had some of the hottest Legs I’d ever seen. I was always a leg man. Maybe because like so many things , legs , toes and such were nearly ignored by most men and boys I ran with, then for them it was breasts and butts. Butts were too messy, and the breasts while nice were too boring. But those legs and toes could keep me occupied for hours. In fact that same baby sitter, would have me massage her feet, toes and calves. All while wearing nylon hose.
Fast forward to the years of HeeHaw, the hit rural comedy show that was a take off on Rowan And Martin’s Laugh In. There were all those short-shorted women clad in nylons. Of course Daisy Duke, didn’t help either, that by that time having a gal in nylon hose near me at least a gal worth looking at in nylon hose, near me was like pumping nitro oxide into a big block Mopar. But it wasn’t although previous attempts had been made, but in 1989, my XYL, said here’s an idea, and she did try, but she said, have one of those models put her smelly feet in your face and set a Guinness World Record, you’ll either die of the smell, or at least get cured to where you’ll never want that again. She died before this could occur. In 1997 I had moved to Utah from Wyoming and was in the process of doing up a few ads for our sister company Cooter’s Kustmz(customs) in Murray Utah, part of the Dixie Diesel Shop as we said here at Cooter’s its not customized its; Cooter-ized. Any mile I was hammering away on an old typewriter and mis spelled the word tow as toe as its very easy to do. My step son and I had watched two movies, one was Cinderella and Eddy Murphy's Boomerang . Both involved a foot thing. The idea ? Kiss the gals nylon toes and play on the words TOW and TOE, which Emme Lee, put together as toew. Any mile we auditioned countless gals, of their feet and toes. We were looking for dainty, small delicate feet more over toes. I thought this toe kiss would last maybe a minute, maybe two. Nope. The gal that showed up as we had chose her due to time to get our ad on , during the first Dukes-of-Hazzard Reunion movie on CBS, was a week from choosing the model, shooting the ad, editing and placing it on then KUTV 2 in Salt Lake City.
Problem was the model must have forgot that I had to kiss her toes. As she wore these mountain boots, with cotton sox over her nylons. Talk about a stench I nearly gagged, then it was 3 hours because nobody thought I’d have to breathe doing this so everytime I’d exhale it’d tickle her toes, so she’d giggle and could not read her lines and kept moving around and fidgeting. It took those 3 hours at 53 takes, before it was done.
Since then the ad has been repeated and updated but is the real test of any new hire for model talent here. Can I stand to kiss her toes at any serious duration? The idea of the nylons is not just me . The talent wearing the nylons, was seen to be some sort of sanitary thing so I wouldn’t have to kiss bare toes, and two network censors at the time required that if you were showing a lot of leg on TV which is why if you look at clips of both HeeHaw and Daisy they are always wearing nylons.
While many of our new hires thinks this is a strange audition, it has its purpose. As in my opinion and its proved itself accurate many times, if a new model talent can off the cuff without 100 questions, drop her heels and allow me to smooch her toes in hose, then just about anything within reason would not be questioned either. It’s a moxy test if nothing else. That’s why I tell soo many that if they want to impress me on a initial interview, make their toes clad in nylon hose very visible and two present them for sampling. Many hesitate of course, some need an explanation, it’s the ones that get it done without prompting gets the job.
The strange thing is, that outside of the one in Salt Lake City, the rest at least to me, their feet and toes in hose do not smell. Is it gender biased ? Where me being an Alpha Male Wolf here, is rendered dreamy and that even what might be stench isn’t? Where if it were another woman smelling a woman’s feet might gag? Like I said strange aroma and pheromones on the highway.
Want to remind someone this holiday season, for Duke fans, it was 15 years ago Saturday, that Uncle Jessie Duke aka Denver Pyle passed away.
Dixie Diesel Trucker Radio is back on the air again here on KDXB FM, and we are going on a 12 month super promotion tour and awareness project. Which is why we are doing all of this auditioning and talent recruitment.
The project has a budget of $20,million dollars from both sponsors and the club.
In any case its Christmas , so, Have A Hazzard County Kountry Christmas and a Dixie Diesel New Year.
L8R
Quote of the Day:
It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust
--Samuel Johnson
Isaiah 9:6“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
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